Humanity, in consciousness, is going through a delicate moment. What one might think: that, “by evolution”, consciousness became sufficiently amplified to aspire to a shared, global, generalized complaisance, it is not being so.
Undoubtedly there are countless strata, groups, subgroups... with different classifications of consciousness. Now, there is a common denominator in all of them, under the praying point of view.
In each of these spaces of consciousness, a subtle memory or desire or image is enough... –subtle!-, to turn around consciousness, sometimes spectacular, about our being, our feeling…
A subtle memory can modify our mood and turn it sour or taciturn or...
Is this the degree of immaturity of consciousness today?
To this is added another factor that is also common –with its particularity in each group or subgroup- it is... the progressive indifferent consciousness.
That care that, for example, is now claimed as "global", to take care of the ecosystem, to eliminate plastics, for world’s famine..., these great slogans that are even capable of producing, at times, hope... then, they do not last, they have no realization.
Consciousness is evicted and becomes indifferent.
And in that indifference, beliefs become increasingly poorer, more doubtful, and more insecure.
And so it is we are in a time of consciousness of humanity, in which the most subtle things –like a memory- collapses, changes, modifies... a consciousness with certain stability. That is to say: unstable consciousness.
And it seems that, as a refuge before the unrealizable projection of the projects, this indifference is gestated, that desperately –even though indifferent- indebts beliefs, makes them doubtful, insecure: incredulous beliefs.
The Praying feeling, resonating from beliefs, makes us "re-consider" towards that constant memory –forgotten- that "to believe is to do, to achieve"; which later became "believing is power."
And from it –from Power- belief is not possible. It fights all others.
Belief does not destroy; it grows.
Believing guides us, clarifies us.
And it is from that Belief, with the vocation of the senses, becoming sensitive!...., it is how we can get out of that indifference in which the being is kidnapped, only looking at himself or at his work; brewing indifferently towards their surroundings; and giving oneself without realizing it, neglecting its nature!, its image, its example.
Similar to melted photographs over time, contemplating... that childish face, and that already adult wrinkled face, swollen!, inflamed!, coughed!...
The claim is sought... The claim is sought to be said!:
“What have I done of me?
What have I done with my resources, with my knowledge?
What have I done about myself, that I become indifferent and self-centred to my influences...? But I despise... from my own presence to everything around me.
What have I done of myself? I have been given the resources, the means, influences, readings, songs, dreams –oh –, the facts...
It is lawfully urgent to ask that question: What have I done with myself?
It is not right!... –not right, no- it is not right accusing the other. It is not right blaming the other. Everyone must assume what one is worth!...
And when you say and ask yourself what I have done with me, the opinion of that one or the other is not valid. It is my sincere "consciousness-response" that is worth, that claims me, the one that can demand from me!
Leaving that indolent attitude of "unimportant", of "indifference."
And being at the limit of that belief, of the slightest interest towards the environment, not even assessing our incidence, just because: "I am like this"... "so they have to accept me"...
Vacuous impositions of indifference!... that, when feeling unable to identify with our proposals, we try to match everyone else with their same attitude. That without doubt, it has reason to spread.
And in that unstable consciousness, which is exposed to the most subtle to get wrecked!, to decompose...
"Oh! ... But only just seconds ago, you smiled...! What happened? What is going on in your head? What has happened to your hands? What a strange breath has come to you? Such little faith in what you are has germinated!…?”.
And it seems –because that is the case- that resources are diluted. And news, a rumour... –it doesn't matter!- leads to disenchantment, rage, sadness, shame!, to a disability!...
"What have I done with me?"
And of course!, of course the crowd takes that way. So it is easy that, when looking at the environment, we find the same attitude of distrust, of folly, of contempt. And what seemed true today is now doubtful "because that one said", "because that was shown", "because...".
Because the lack of faith has been severe. Because lack of faith is complaining: it wants material realities. It is not enough with a sigh or a kiss, or a breath or a smile. No! It demands!... –what kind of faith is that?- demands to own, to have, control, dominate!
And so conscience is fighting: between the unstable faith –subordinated to any incidence- with the trembling belief... and indifference. A disturbing trinity.
Prayer demands us, from the bowels of believing, from the hiding places of indifference, to feel from the tiny corpuscles of Faith, to trust.
Yes, indeed!... I am a being product of an inspiration, if I am truly endowed with resources for realization, if I really do communion –indispensably- to be, to feel myself a being, if in truth belief is my consent towards the opening of the unknown, towards the harmony with the Mysterious, if in truth I am all of that..., I must keep it in mind, in consciousness.
My reference and my guide is Creation. I am a subject, and not a slave. I am servant, and not servitude. I am cared for and oriented, and I have been provided with references to light my way. And thus be obedience of life.
Evidence shows me that I am not a centre where everything else revolves as I please. It is clear to me, in the vicinity, that the created has not been thought only for me, but it stretches an unpredictable event, an incredible future.
And my faith, my sensitivity, my belief is reborn with the incredible. Because they have creatively trained me to be amazed, yes!, to worship, to impress myself!, to let myself be guided. Or to be a guide of stars, but not of selfishness or idolatry, of lies with appearances of lucidity... Oh!... Oh!
Let it not be... may it not be me who ceases to be who I am! Providence does not like me that way, it does not recognize me.
And when I ask myself what I have done with myself, I go all over again, and go again and again through my potholes, my ascents, and discover myself in my true affections. Those affections, those loving moments... which are the ones that do talk about me!, which are the ones that rejoice me as a created being, and extol the created that surrounds me.
If I know that I am not of me, I should ask myself with more emphasis: "What have I done with myself?" But without that chronic awareness of despair, of tragedy and drama! It is already known. It must already be evicted. With rather, an awareness of being innocent, of being forgiven, of being cared for!, of knowing I am loved!
Yes, the plague of tragedy will say: "Ah!... How good you value yourself! How sweet you are with yourself!”.
But it is not like that. Love is rigorous, complaisant and pleased, but it is not vain.
And it seems, in this emphasis, in consciousness, to evaluate myself in another way, it seems that it never dawns, and it seems that light arrival is delayed!
But, alas, how many times have I not followed the "material sense" of my senses, and been betrayed? And I have not followed my senses dream, which fly the impossible. And those have not betrayed me.